How I Came to Be in the Netherlands

I'm back and hope to be better at keeping up this blog. I have much to share and many blogs hand written, as most of my friends know I love to write the old-fashioned way. It's now just getting them typed in. I'll get started from where I left off...

This addresses the second most popular question that often comes out as, "How did you get to the Netherlands?"

On a KLM direct flight from LAX, because I brought my three cats with me and the vet said a longer car ride to LAX where I could get a direct flight was better than the cats having to change planes. So, two wonderful women from my church, one having a roomy SUV for the 3 cages and my luggage, picked me up and drove me to LAX. Yes, that's how I got here. That's the literal answer.

The simplest and greatest answer is that the Lord directed my steps, as He always has. The mind of man plans his way but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9 is one of my main verses I truly adopted in 1983.

The long answer, for those interested...Just like I had never even wanted to visit California, then ended up living there over 21 years, I felt the same about Europe. In 1998ish I got the bug to visit Europe, especially Netherlands and Ireland due to knowing more about my family's roots in those countries.

In the fall of 2000 my dear friend John's favorite Om, Uncle, Arjan from the Netherlands visited the US for the first time and came to San Diego to spend a weekend . John invited his friends to meet his Dutch uncle at The Field Irish Pub in San Diego, www.thefield.com. It's an authentic Irish pub with great food and on Sunday evenings there are Irish dancers. John and I Irish dance, he is VERY good, and know the dancers that dance on Sunday nights. When I arrived the only place to sit was a stool at the far head of the table where Arjan sat just to my right. Being a crowded table, our knees touched. Arjan knew only Dutch and the only other person at the table who knows Dutch was his sister who was seated diagonally from Arjan at the end of the other side. Everyone was talking, and it gets loud in The Field, of course all in English. Me, being the open, friendly, talking with my hands kind of person, used hand gestures to attempt communicating with him. Little did I know what my, to me simple, attempts at communication would lead to. The night ended, we went to our cars and when it was time to part I wanted Arjan to know I was glad to meet him and how important he is to his US family. At one point Arjan asked his sis something in her ear, then turned and kissed me on the lips. I thought, "Oh, yeah, that's right, Europeans kiss upon meeting and departing." It wasn't till I came here that I learned in the Netherlands it's three fake kisses on the cheek, one side, the other, then back to the first, you don't really kiss the cheek.

Shortly after that, John began teasing me, "You're Arjan's girlfriend." I thought...no way, the man is older and I've only gone for younger guys, speaks another language, and lives in another country across the ocean from where I moved to CA from! No way. Life went on and I finally felt I could leave my job with the Navy in military child development. I had so much leave stashed up I was unable to use, my parents had been dead for over 3 years and I still wasn't able to get the time to go back to Buffalo to get their house cleaned out, plus I wanted to travel. My leave would pay out, little did I know the chunk of it that would go to the federal government in taxes, but still I could live for a nice 9-12 month hiatus. Went to Buffalo, in the airport to return to San Diego as 9/11 happened--another story, so after two weeks ended up driving a beautiful Dodge Durango that fit everything I wanted from my parent's house, back to San Diego via Utah to visit John's Mom, Arjan's sis. She had to call her brother to have me talk to him, telling me how taken he was with me. I could tell on the phone he was like a young boy, still didn't know much English.

As flights resumed and the prices dropped, I thought, what a great time to take a trip or 2 to Europe. Called my FBI friend and asked what he thought and he said that, even with what happened, it was still safer to fly than drive and even safer as a result of 9/11 and "go for it". I figured I'd go to Ireland first but in looking at air fare, Amsterdam was much cheaper. So, made my plan. John told me I'd have to visit his family, specifically uncle, in Rotterdam and it would save me a few nights cost. So, his Mom called and I told her I'd plan for a long weekend in Rotterdam, thinking Arjan must work. She called him and called me back and said that he would like me to stay with him the entire time I was going to be here, 2 1/2 weeks. I knew I didn't want to do that and glad I had already planned the first few days in Netherlands. I asked if I would be safe with him and she assured me I would. "He won't do anything that you don't want him to."--So, he won't attack me in the night, phew. It was at this time I also found out that Arjan was retired. He was a carpenter and in his profession, at that time, they could retire at 55, not having any responsibilities but himself he took that opportunity. So I agreed to stay for five days.

End of February 2002 I came over, feel in love with the country the minute I stepped foot in it, felt like it was home, like this is where I come from. I went to the North East for a few days for an indoor flower festival, if I was coming over here I was determined to see some flowers! Took the train down to Rotterdam where Arjan was meeting me, it was snowing here that day. I could tell he was so excited that I was here. Still amazed at how well we communicated and how quickly he learned English, though it's heard on the tv and radio here so that helps. The second day I was here he sat next to me on the couch, told me how happy he was that I came to visit and put his arm around me. Then he laid out his plan of what we would do over the next two weeks till I left, telling me that I was free to leave at any time. He had made a neat plan out where I wouldn't be seeing all the touristy things, never made it to Amsterdam till my third time here. He was so kind and hospitable and began giving me kisses on the check, real ones. After four days of his wooing, I was falling in love and decided to spend the rest of my time here. I hadn't been treated so well by a man in an extremely long time.

The entire time I thought, "I could live here." and just prayed. As I returned home, I thought about what had transpired and was this just a vacation type fling or was this really something. After changing planes in Newark, I found that a Continental flight attendant was seated behind me on her way back home to San Diego from her trip. She was curious where those seating around her had originated. When I said Amsterdam, she told me that Continental was starting a new Houston to Amsterdam service so us West Coasters didn't have to travel all the way to Newark. Knowing Continental, I asked if there was a special opening deal and she said nothing had been announced yet but keep watching the site. I let Arjan know of the possibility and told him I would like to return for a month to see if this was for real. It was the weekend of the St. Patrick's Day activities in San Diego and when I came home Sunday night I checked Continental's site and there it was. This time I could fly for $342 round trip, only $21 more than my first time. And it's killing me writing these prices when it has been over $1100 for over a year.:(

Ok, I'm going...so came for a month early May-early June. And the rest is history. I came again for another month at Christmastime that year and was ready to move over here then but Arjan really wanted to see my life in San Diego before making that move. Due to a death in his family, that didn't end up happening till May 2004. He came, saw my house, meet many of my friends, went with me to my parent participation classes, etc. He couldn't believe how friendly and welcoming everyone was and told me that I couldn't leave this, he would move to the US. Returned home and quickly we both realized that it would be very difficult and costly. Because Arjan was on early retirement, he wouldn't receive it if residing in another country. Plus the health insurance wouldn't transfer so be astronomical in the US for him.

We pretty much ended up giving up but only for about 6 weeks in April/May 2005. Towards the end of that May, I received a call from him. He had finally received the insurance money from dropping and breaking my camera in front of the palace in Amsterdam back in 2003! He then told me how he couldn't sleep since we decided it was too hard and even the sleeping pills he got from the dr weren't helping. He told me to pray because we needed to be together. So I did and one morning when I was at my Starbucks, out of the blue as I read my devotions, I felt the Lord saying, "Go. Go there." Ok, we talked that night and Arjan told me he knew what we needed to do and that was for me to move over there if I was still willing to. I couldn't believe my ears confirming what I had sensed. So, first I thought September that year but then there was a wedding and that far in, I might as well stay for a last Thanksgiving. So, that's what I did. Left the Monday after Thanksgiving and here I am...still love living over here as difficult as it may be sometimes. The longer I live here, the more I think I'll stay, if they let me. Soon I'll be able to apply for Dutch citizenship or permanent residence. Because of all the talk of making everyone that's dual chose one nationality and the US is one country that allows it's citizens to renege their citizenship, we are thinking it is probably best I go with the permanent residence. We'll see when the time comes.

You never know where I may ultimately end up and I have stopped saying I'm never going anywhere because chances are, that's where I'd end up living!

What Are You Doing in Netherlands?

Recently I have reconnected with a number of people from my past, "old" friends, co-workers and students, as well as made some new friends. Two questions are most often posed and also by and of fellow expats/immigrants upon meeting.

This post answers the most popular, "What are you doing in the Netherlands?"

Here goes:

Living a simpler life in a smaller living space located in a "disadvantaged" neighbor in Rotterdam.

Enjoying life and love.

Learning the Netherlands--language, country, Rotterdam.

Trying to remember English words!

Integrating into a new culture.

Watching my dollars fly away, waiting for a better exchange to get them all into Euros where I can earn much better interest at my bank here and stop seeing them vanish into thin air.

Seeing the Netherlands, US, Europe, Africa, the world with new eyes.

Praying more knowledgeably for the Netherlands.

Eating new foods and finding I like cauliflower, though still not raw, and will probably never grow to like haring/herring!

Eating an occasional hagelslag broodje...chocolate (or fruit flavored) sprinkled sandwich.

Walking--lots of walking.

Frequenting public transportation and loving it.

Experiencing freedom from an auto.

Mystery shopping throughout the country.

Visiting lots of different cities and towns.

Loving and being loved.

Spending more time at home.

Maintaining a sense of humor and appreciating more Dutch humor.

Going to the market once or twice a week, if just to check prices as grocery store sales are often cheaper.

Volunteering at Karel Vogelklas...the bird rehabilitation facility on the street next to us.

Participating in the American Women's Club of Den Haag.

Taking lots of pictures.

Using my Princess House glasses as everyday glassware. Love 'em and would have never done this in the US. Arjan even likes them!

Trying to find out where exactly I fit in here, realizing that may never really happen.

Did I say enjoying life? Here there's plenty of time for that, which is why some Netherlanders have no desire to move to the US.

Enjoying a cooler, moister, more temperate climate.

Then there's the usual reading, writing, attempting to keep in touch with friends via the internet and Facebook, while making new one's as well.

Think that about covers it.

Arjan Talks to the New Neighbor

Tuesday Arjan came home and found the new neighbor had left the key in the door. Oops...I've caught the neighbor below doing that as well. So, he rang the bell and the woman, who is there most, came to the door with no head covering making it clear to see they are Moroccans and not Turks. The daughter came to the door as well and helped her mother with Netherlands. I heard Arjan talking to them and telling them about our cats and me so decided I'd make an appearance. The woman was nice and even shook my hand. I was so surprised when the daughter told me her name is Sameera, now don't know if she spells it the same way my Indian "Sameera" spelled it.

It totally brought me back to the summer's of 1980 and 1981 when I worked at Four Seasons Day Care Center right near my house in Buffalo. Three Indian sisters really took to me, Sareena was 10, Yousara was 6, and Sameera was 2. They were so sweet. (I hope to remember to post a photo when I find the one of them, if it will scan ok from that long ago.) So, needless to say...the neighbor girl, who's probably 8, and I got on well.

Arjan also informed her that the residents are responsible to clean up after themselves and take care of their own mail. Some of the six places in our building have gotten lazy with their mail and anything they don't want or comes that is not for them they just throw on the ground beneath the post boxes. Someone even put a box down there now to hold it. Well, when these people opened their box, of course, it was chuck full and they just put it in the box, causing it to overflow and and it was all over the place. (They do not have change of address cards like they do in the US.) They do have stickers you can put on your box to not receive ads or the free weekly papers, it just the people don't do it...I'm thinking of getting some and just putting on their boxes.

That evening I went on a walk and when I went downstairs I found Sameera was emptying the box in the trash, granted there are still sunflower seeds and a piece of cable on the floor. The mother had water all over the floor in the storage area, where her and our storage areas are. Part of me thought she was cleaning up something another part of me thought she was cleaning the floor. When I returned they were gone, the floor in the entrance was dirty from stepping in on the wet floor then on it, and the storage hall floor felt sticky. What did I find yesterday when I opened our storage but whatever it was leaked onto our side, fortunately looking like only in the front. I think it's water and come up to get something to get it up with, only to find out that it is a sticky yellow substance. AARG! I'm hoping it will dry up and be ok.

The new neighbors are still not living there but the power and gas was turned on Wednesday and I saw a light in there yesterday, and there are drapes up in the living room, besides they've moved more things in. The problem is they don't come to do anything till late in the afternoon or early evening and last night they were still making noise in the hall after 11:30...I wanted to go out and remind them the children still have school for two more weeks in Rotterdam. They also have a thing with ringing the doorbell I'm probably going to have to at some point have to let them know that we hear it. I get the feeling these people may not be used to living so close to other people, at least other people that are not family or from their culture.

So, our building becomes more multi-cultural.

The Cat Days of Summer

Summer began a long time ago here but for over two weeks we have been nothing but sun, ok there was a 2 minute rain today, with a few mornings of June gloom...for the non-Southern Californians that means fog in the morning that typically the sun burns off as the day progresses caused from the colder ocean breeze coming over the warm land...and the temperature has warmed up considerably, actually getting over 85 yesterday, which is usually only for a few days in late July or August. In years past that was considered the Netherlands summer. Not any more...fortunately today the wind is blowing so it is causing it to feel cooler besides being cooler and not so oppressive as the last couple days. Sleeveless shirt and shorts are still called for.

The warm weather definitely presents some problems for the cats in finding a cool place to hang out and sleep. Here are some of their choices:

Just plopping on the floor, Columbo and Oscar's place yesterday:


The dark under the bed/headboard spot Pim seems to be preferring:

On top of the plastic storage thingy right next to me, which Oscar captured this afternoon:

You Look Like Someone I Know

Somewhere I've been keeping track of all the people I see here that look like people I know/have known in the US. It still amazes me that this country is as much of a melting pot as the US, though the melting part doesn't quite happen in the same way here. Nothing exhibits this more than when I see someone here that looks like someone I know in the US...which I'll get to in a little bit after I tell you about the funniest thing that happened to me today.

I had gone on a walk to, first, ask at the belastingdenist, tax office set up till tomorrow near us if what Arjan got back included our medical costs, 200 just for my glasses, only to be told yes, meaning Arjan would have received a whooping 2 Euros back if it wasn't for our medical costs, which are not returnable as of next year; second, pick up the free papers; and, third, go to the other German store Aldi to get the 2.39 California wine Arjan likes. A couple checked out before me and were packing their things into their bakfiets, a bicycle with a box on wheels in front of it for carrying children or goods, when I popped into the store next door to look at a sale but the two lines in the store were way too long, they were having a buy 2, get 1 free sale and they are a discount/cheap store where you can find things you can't anywhere else--Wibra, think they have a German background as well.

So I just walked out of that store, it was much too hot in there anyways, and as I was walking the man with his bakfiets was going past, stopped, turned and said, "Komt u uit Amerika?" That's, "Do you come from America?" I was shocked...how could he know that, I sure didn't know him or his vrouw and I sure wasn't wearing or doing anything that would indicate I'm American. I asked how he knew that and he said because I look like someone he knows. He then asked me if I was the vrouw van Jim. I told him, "Nee, ik ben de vrouw van Arjan." Then he asked me if my name was Ann. How funny further as I told him what my name is. Then I asked him if I looked like her and he said yes. The entire time his vrouw was on her bike just smiling...which I imagine she does quite often because he told me he always has things happen like this where he sees someone who looks just like someone else he knows. I told him how that happens here for me.

The only person that I know of that I see here that is actually a 2nd generation 100% American Netherlander is Tom DeVries. He goes to Levend Woord church where I attended. Everyone else I see is not Dutch...there are three people I see quite often.

Thelma Layog, my former office manager at Subase Child Development Center. Someday I'm afraid I'm going to see her on the street and say, "Hi Thelma."

The one I see almost daily because she lives in the next block is Carol Maloney. Oh, Arjan loves Carol and he thinks this women looks like her as well...glasses, long blond hair in a ponytail that appears to be of the same texture and such, about the same size, the same age, and even the same walk. Now, of course, we don't know this women's name, though Zwemveld is the last name on their door. This woman is the perfect Nederlander not looking at you when you pass her by. I'm still trying to get a good pic of her, without her knowing, but it hasn't worked yet.

Then there's Carol's oldest son Jerry...a young Jerry is a Rotterdam police officer who used to walk in our neighborhood. One day I had a nice chat with him and his colleague, especially when they found out I was from the US, they wanted to know how I considered the safety here and what some differences were. (Unlike the Netherlanders that live here...including Arjan...who think it is unsafe but can't really pinpoint why--just because from other cultures live around them, I think it's very safe here.) The police get moved around so they experience the different neighborhoods in Rotterdam, which doesn't always make sense to me but it's their way of doing things, so I haven't seen him in a while.

Yep, I never know who I'm going to run into here that will trigger the memory of someone but this is only the second time in my life when someone has thought I looked like someone they know.

The Neighbors

The Winnie the Pooh wall paper is off the bedroom wall that has a door to the balconey, the one we can really see, and was strewn in the hall all down the stairs and on the balconey. That room is now purple with pink butterflies, guess that means it's the girl's room, and white trim. From what we can tell they painted everything else white. You can see wallpaper on one wall of the living room from beneath. It was most of the first week that men were here taking off the old and this week was putting on the new. Flooring was brought on Friday and on Saturday big items started to be moved in. There are still no window coverings so I'm sure they won't be living there till they're in, or, as some people do when they first move in, they will just cover the windows with sheets or newspaper, let's hope not.

Right there you have learned what is entailed when you rent a place. When moving out your walls have to be left in paintable or wallpaperable condition and your flooring and window covering are supposed to be removed. As a new renter, you are responsible for putting in flooring, putting up window covering, and doing whatever you want to the walls, except taking them down or damaging them. As Arjan said, that may be why it took so long to get renters in there because there's a lot to do in that place and that costs money.

We believe the family who will live next door consist of a mother, father, a son of 11ish and daughter of 8-9ish. How they have typically come is up to five Turks Muslim women with up to 8 children. Then numerous men coming but often when the women are gone. Arjan has watched the women struggle getting up the stairs, stopping at every landing to get their breathe, which they appear to be too young to be doing but probably aren't used to stairs. They typically don't show up till late in the afternoon and have stayed till after 10 p.m. Oh, we have to get used to the noise.

They enjoy ringing the doorbell, which drives me crazy. The kids will just ring the bell, guess they may not be used to it. When the bell from outside rings for them, the kids have run out and yelled down the stairwell, "Wie is het?" (Who is it?) Still trying to figure that one out as there's a phone you pick up and can talk to the people outside and ask who it is. It is unnecessary and if it continues after they move in I'll be going over to talk to them.

Besides the wallpaper on the balconey there is a wide putty knife that was dripping white water and has rusted, an empty spray bottle that has the nozzle screwed off, and molding was out there for days, with unused scraps that got left out there. So Friday afternoon two boys, one being from the family, were hitting a scrap on the ledge of the balconey to break it into smaller pieces. They then found great fun in throwing them over the balconey edge. One of the women found out what they were doing and came out yelling at them in Turks with a lot of Dutch, "Mag niet." That translates to "May not" and what is used to guide children...I learned that one and used it a lot when doing my language internship with the children's activities. When Arjan came home later that afternoon, I asked if he saw the wood on the sidewalk. No, but he did see two Turks women picking somethings off the sidewalk and take them to the trash. Good for them!

There was one piece left on the balconey and last night when so many children were here, that piece ended up in front of our front door. Obviously, the mothers didn't know it or see it, which I can't believe, when they left last night.

Arjan is a baffled because they have not done what good neighbors are supposed to do here. He said here the way it works is...when you rent a place, the first time you go to begin working you are supposed to introduce yourself to your neighbors. It isn't till you actually move in and are living there that the neighbors are supposed to come with a bouquet of flowers to welcome you to the neighborhood. Of course, being Turks, they probably don't do it the way the Netherlanders do.

Now we're just hoping they put up a barrier on their side of the balconey as the last Turks family did that lived there so the little girl could play outside in her bathing suit and the woman could be out without her head covering and Arjan wouldn't see them. Otherwise, we're going to have to do something so the cats can go out on our balconey and not get into their's.

Out With Old, In With the New

The old sofa was in pretty bad shape. It was only 6 years old but not well made and of fake leather. Arjan helped it along once it started ripping. After six months of looking for a new one, we decided on one. It successfully arrived the morning of the 19th.

Arjan saved a parking place for the lift for over a week. When they finally came there six spaces in a row free in front of our place so Arjan just had to move his auto down.

The lift was put into place while the delivery men from the store had a smoke before beginning the job.

The new sofa (3 zitsbankstel) comes up. Then the old one was taken out followed by the love seats (2 zitsbankstellen).

With the result looking like this:

We like the Dark Chocolate and leather, it's not sticking to us in the heat like the other did. It's higher than the last and the arm rests are lower and this week we should be looking for the some decent pillows for the arms, or just go with the extra American sleeping pillows. Arjan is also working on raising the coffee table, which was his Oma's, because it is now too low or he has said we'll look for something new at Ikea, which really surprised me.

I can't believe I forgot to snap a picture of the old stuff out for pick up before I left that day, especially to see what others had added to it and by time I arrived home they were just arriving in the next block from picking up ours, more than 3 hours earlier than the week before's pick up, which didn't happen till 6 p.m. (Think that's why I didn't take one before I left, I figured it would still be there with more things added by time I came home.)

As you can see, the sofa is a hit.