"Gelukkig Verjaardag"/"Happy Birthday".
singing "Happy Birthday" and blowing out candles on a cake. They do sell candles, but I have yet to attend a birthday where someone blew out a candle on their b'day so I don't think their Dutch.
ice cream, again there may be some people that have it but it has not been at any I've been to.
freebies of free ice cream or meal or so much percent off because it's your b'day--one reason I'd like to spend my b'day in the US this year!
party games or favors.
helium balloons.
picture taking.
"extravagent" children's parties, though I did see one in KFC one day but they were probably allochtoonen/foreigners, which the Dutch call anyone who is not white and born in the Netherlands. (A subject for another post!)
family, friends, or co-workers taking the b'day person out for anything or surprising them at work with a cake.
How a birthday is celebrated in Netherlands...
"Gefeliciteerd" or "Hartelijk gefeliciteerd" is the birthday greeting offered and heard. It means "Congratulations" or "Warm/Hearty congratulations". This is said to family members, friends, and everyone in attendance at a birthday gathering.
Sometimes it involves decorations, which you'll see in the pictures, and it's not uncommon to be walking and see in windows or on doors possibly a few blow up balloons taped with the age that a child it turning or the age an adult is turning when it's an important one. Often you'll see the name. I've also seen something printed from the computer, along with the photo of the birthday person announcing the birthday, taped to windows.
The birthday person is supposed to host everyone. For children this means preparing a treat and party bag for their class in addition to taking something to share with all the teachers and administration at the school. Now, you can imagine how some of the American mom's here have responded to this when they're making something like Rice Krispie Treats, which is costly here, or fancy cupcakes. BUT, it is ok to just bring a common cookie for the rest of the teachers and staff on a plate to share.
For a working person it involves providing a cake or treat for all your co-workers. I keep trying to explain, even with my pictures, of how it's the other way around in the US.
For any birthday person it means hosting family, and maybe some friends and/or neighbors, at the birthday person's house for what many expats call the "Birthday Circle". Basically everyone sits around the living room, or outside if it's nice, after they have walked around, done the 3 fake kisses or a handshake and "Gefeliciteerd" everyone already in attendance. Then you are asked what you want to drink and offered a piece of tart which translates to cake but also means a pie here. What you receive is 99% of the time a store or bakery bought cake, which sometimes isn't much like any cake I'm used to, or an appel tart, or sometimes a tompouce. A cake typically has a large filling of cream and often fruit between two layers of a cake with a thick whipped cream frosting then sometimes a thin layer of another type of icing that has a decoration painted on it. You never see the full cake because it has already been cut into, and looking at the whipped cream on top, I think a candle would sink right down into it.
Note to Americans: Remain seated during the entire time at the b'day. It is ok to change seats or get up to use the bathroom but DO NOT offer help to the birthday person and/or their parents if it's a child's b'day. The birthday person or their parents and grandparents do everything and they do not like to be helped. Also remember this as you have people over for your b'day, you will be doing all the work, noone will be taking their dishes to the kitchen or offering to help. Disclaimer: I am almost certain there'd be one woman at the American Club who has a Dutchie man disagree with this and proceed to tell me how helpful her Dutch family is so it may happen, but Arjan's family is about as Dutch as they get so I'm basing it on my experience with a very Dutch, little English speaking, family.
After enough people have arrived the host(ess) begins with the rounds of appetitizers, I'll call them. No, they are not put on a table and people go around and pick what they want--I attempted that on Arjan's b'day the first year I was here and they didn't know what to do. Instead, the host walks around with a plate or two offering it to every guest. Note to Americans: You may only take 1 item from what is offered. After making the rounds, what's left is often put on a coffee table in the middle at which time you are welcome to partake in more, though most Dutch don't so that plate will make another round later.
The appetitizers can consist of pieces of various sausages and cheese with mustard to dip them in, cucumbers, ham rolled with cream cheese in the middle, ham rolled with a pickle in the middle, Melba toast with cheese or some sort of salad--which is bought in the deli section of a supermarket, nuts, when there are kids typically thin pretzel sticks, and sometimes some of the special items the supermarkets are now making. For instance, on Sunday we had olives, little sweet peppers filled with cheese, and sun dried tomatoes with now I forget what but I was almost the only person who ate these "strange", new to NL items. Plates with one or two different items are brought around every 10 minutes or so till they are all served. At that time if there are plates on the table with a lot left on, those plates are taken around one by one for another round.
In cases of birthday's for children, expect to see little of the birthday child...they will either be in their room playing or where the computer is playing games with the other children who have come to the birthday, which are typically no more than a handful. Some parents do actually have a separate children's party, inviting children over for lunch, a piece of cake, and to play.
Besides drinking and eating in this circle, everyone talks, and when I say everyone, I mean everyone, except those who don't know the language well and have noone to speak their language with. Honestly, the Dutch are talkers and talk at the same time so there can easily be 3 or 4 conversations going on at the same time, enough to leave my brain aching when I first came and didn't know much Nederlands. For some, like our family who really only see each other on birthday's and the New Year, it's a time to catch up with family, for others it's comparing what your children are doing in school or your past or future vacation.
People come and go throughout the afternoon and most often immediate family stays for dinner, which may consist of soup and a sandwich, nothing special. Gifts are often money for children, flowers for women, wine or beer for a man and then sometimes a little something else, like special teas or cologne and opened as they are received, not all at one time.
Special yeared b'days can be a whole other ball game. These years it is custom for the birthday person to treat family and friends to a big party or dinner out. I couldn't believe it...that's expensive but in Arjan's case, he saves up for it as he expects it. Gifts are more "extravagant" these years as well, like the family coming together to get a decent sized gift certificate for a store or a big gift the birthday person has wanted.
Now you know why I would like to be in the US this year for my 50th! When that day comes, I'll tell you all about the big 5-0 in Netherlands. I cannot believe that my bestest bestest friend is going to be turning it tomorrow--the first friend in "my" year to do so! Happy, happy 50th b'day, ME!
Here are photos from the birthday of our great nephew Dennis' 10th b'day we celebrated on Sunday.
The Birthday Boy--the only time he sat down in the circle.
His brother Casper talking with Arjan about how he's doing in soccer, he got to move up a divison.
Casper, Arjan, and Casper & Dennis' father Ronald listening to Ronald's mother tell some story.
She was probably telling the story of this man, her boyfriend Giel, and how he was almost sleeping till I came in. He got so excited, said, "The Belle is here," and he was the only one on the sofa so I went and sat with him and he again told me more about his two trips to the US, where his sister has lived for over 53 years near Palm Springs. One time he bought Amtrak's 6 week rail pass and really travelled the country. He has been to Holland, MI and to Iowa where the Dutch live, surprised so many Dutchies would live in such a place. In this picture he's waving to me as he is on his way out the door to go home and take a nap.
One of, if not the, newest members of our family, Amber sitting on Ingrid, Ronald's sister's, lap having a conversation with me, now wondering where my face went. She was born in November to Simone, our niece, and Roel.
Amber with her family--Oma--Sjanet, Arjan's youngest sibling, and the b'day boy's Oma, Papa Roel, and Mama Simone. (The Dutch equivalient to Daddy and Mommy.)
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